Crushing It

 I don’t wanna brag but I’m pretty sureI got the highest score ever on the ADHD test.The best part was when Mike asked me to jugglea hatchet, a balloon full of pudding, and a hamsterand I was all, “Hold my beer, Mike!” Hokay…I tanked it. I could go pro at wrong. Blur—I mean blue—ribbon wrong. You know thatfeeling: you’re throwing elbows like nobody’sbusiness but when you finally get up to the window,you can’t sign your name right and the teller getsto keep your money? which is NOT legal,Mike assures me. Thanks, Mike(if that is your real name). ____Jennifer L. Knox is the author of four books of poems. Her work has appeared four times in The Best American Poetry series as well as in The New York Times, The New Yorker, and American Poetry Review. The Los Angeles Book Review said of her most recent book, Days of Shame & Failure, "This panoply of twenty-first century American human experience leaves the reader a different person." She teaches at Iowa State University and is currently at work on a culinary memoir.